welcome

This is the home page for Love and Lightning, an emotional repatterning service where talk and touch help you upgrade who you feel you are. The service is completely customized to you and your needs. A more detailed description of what happens here is at the bottom of this page * and in the pdf describing the service and how to participate.

How it works: I welcome you into the service during a conversation, usually in person, but sometimes by phone or by video chat. It is free. It usually lasts between 20 minutes and 2 hours, depending on how much you have to say and how long it takes to feel comfortable together. There is a Welcome-In form you compose in advance and that we print out and discuss, so that you can spell out exactly what you are wanting to learn and experience. You also have full permission to ask me anything you want, to know if I am a good person to work with.

After that we’ll schedule a journey, or if meeting in person, possibly have a journey that day. Sessions are 2 hours or more and are sliding scale.

Here you will find:

Some thoughts on love and lightning: a gentle introduction.

A pdf describing the service and how to participate.

A description of the sessions available, how they work, and covid precautions.

A pdf Welcome-In form with questions we will discuss during your Welcome-In. >>Download it<< then follow directions.

A pdf containing client reviews, from Yelp, 2010-19, so you can hear what others have experienced with me (starts at page 2).

A pdf of client reviews from this year.

IF you have questions or are ready to schedule your Welcome-In, leave a voicemail at 541-525-0188 or drop me an email at loveandlightning[at]protonmail.com. Please no texts. My service isn’t great and sometimes I don’t get them.

Looking forward to meeting you.


*A more detailed description:

Love and Lightning is an emotional repatterning service centered around talk and touch: Honest talk. Kind and careful touch. Since 1995, I have helped hundreds of people feel better and like themselves more by having experiences where they feel accepted, understood and appreciated.

Learning what you need to feel comfortable and confident is a key part of the process here. I help you identify what is good for you and learn how to meet it, so that you move through life empowered and respected. That is emotional repatterning.

I have been an excellent listener and touch-based communicator most of my life. I have helped over 500 people upgrade their friendship with themselves. I help you drop into the present, feel valued, feel wonderful, and expand. The experiences you have with me help you befriend yourself and fuel your enthusiasm for living.

Our journeys always start with listening. I hear what you mean, and respond to that. I hear what is important to you, and respond to that. I hear your signals and show you that they matter; first through listening, then through talking, then through touch. 

I am interested in you. I am curious about the being who is here to learn and grow. Having someone notice, value and respect you gives you momentum for liking and believing in yourself. It is simple, practical support for being who who want to be. 

Feeling appreciated and supported changes our perspective. We stop prioritizing others’ needs in order to be liked, and like ourselves directly. We move into saying and doing what is right for us. What we need becomes conscious. Unconscious patterns, like trying to give others what they need so they will give us what we need, become obvious. Letting go of them becomes easier.

I constantly encourage you to go for what makes you feel happy and empowered. I also encourage you to be more sensitive to and careful with yourself. I am both a spaciously supportive friend and a fierce one who helps you respect and stand up for yourself.

When you are defaulting to doing what I seem to want, or what would be appropriate, I help you see it and discover what you want. I help you build new patterns with your own experience at the center. I know how important it is to know what you want, and do what is good for you, and loyally help you develop those.

Our time together is centered on helping you feel comfortable and confident. Helping you use your voice and choice to reveal your inner intelligence and create experiences that serve you: confirming your value and the value of your perspective. Making room for you to express and explore what interests you, and helping you enjoy yourself. This is your time. This is pure positivity about who you are and who you can be.

Doing massage professionally for 25 years, I learned what many of us need to relax: To express ourselves freely and fully, and have our feelings and meanings matter. To self-connect then other-connect. To feel comfortable focusing on our own experience, feel supported in going there, and feel honored for expressing what we find there. 

To feel empowered by connecting, many of us need to establish self-connectedness before anything else. That rarely happens in random hookups or random massage sessions. Unconscious expectations and assumptions learned from culture and society turn us into generic fantasy characters who never fully meet. 

To fix this, we need to slow life down, notice our inner activity, and be more sensitive to ourselves. We need a process that starts with self-connecting. Occupying our true selves, and using connection to reinforce our true selves, requires honesty and vulnerability.

I know how to do honest and vulnerable. I have had thousands of chances to practice them. They are necessary ingredients for making connecting safe and positive. Touch is vulnerable, connecting is personal and I know how to make them comfortable; by following traditions of talk-before-touch that have worked for thousands of years. 

We are not just meeting as bodies; we are meeting as beings. Before doing anything else we should like and trust each other. I guide that process. It helps us feel comfortable and confident. When that is in place our journeys become a source of childlike happiness, enthusiasm and gratitude for being alive. Sharing purely positive richness resets us.

Building a relationship where you can be your full self, with your full spectrum of feelings and thoughts takes some time and effort, but it sets a foundation for deep relaxation and confidence. Your Welcome-In interview with me begins that process. It is free. You have time to share as much as you want and notice how I respond to you. You have time to ask me anything you want and notice how it lands with you. You have time to get to know me and see if you feel comfortable with me, before committing to anything. Every step of our interaction works this way: Get comfortable first, then share what feels right.

Learning what feels right is an essential life skill. This is a place to build that skill. A place where time is spacious and speed is slow. Emotional situations are the places where self-connection matters most. This is a place to become skillful and confident in those situations, using your self-connection to navigate successfully.

Practice makes perfect. I help you find the dosage that is right for you, so that you feel comfortable in connection. Being present in touch upgrades who you feel you are. Being in a relationship where your voice and choice are wanted makes it safe to root and grow; a friendship were emotion can safely flow

Conscious tending makes our relationship supportive and empowering. Our communication becomes easy and fluent. Our confidence with each other and in ourselves grow with it. Being equals on a shared journey activates authority.

I understand this is an unusual model, but to care for personal issues well a personal relationship is necessary. Your body is personal. Your feelings and thoughts are personal. Honoring you and them carefully requires knowing you well and supporting you precisely. 

That matters to me. I consider your trust in me a sacred responsibility. I have seen how touch resets lives, and care that experiences I participate in are purely positive. The results of that extra care and precision are life-changing. Once you try this approach, the security and nourishment of feeling fully accepted and appreciated will speak for itself; and speak through you as confidence and ease, creating a life that serves you.

Feel welcome.